Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
