K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he puts the penis in happiness.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Randomize
