Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
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apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
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I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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