franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
