Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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