After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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