Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
