You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
