The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
