I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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