Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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