No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I need water and some morals
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
