I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
