You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
