I wish I could teleport
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
