you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
