u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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