Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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