Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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