I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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