oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize