Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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