if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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