I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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