Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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