Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
