After last night, I could never be a politician.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
