Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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