they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
