And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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