we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
