Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
