K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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