I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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