I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
