Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
