Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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