My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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