Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
