i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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