At least make sure they are 18
Why
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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