Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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