I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
