I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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