this boner is exhausting
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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