Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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