sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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