And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
