He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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