That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
