you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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