I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
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All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
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there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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