8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
