yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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