Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We left the knife in your bed.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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