considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize