The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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